Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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  (661): Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better. http://tfl.nu/n2tz
  Replies (6) Good night (2367) Bad night (637)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.

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  (631): I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky. http://tfl.nu/xwxi
  Replies (8) Good night (605) Bad night (3268)
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  (925): View more from California

  and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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  (925): and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know. http://tfl.nu/ctra
  Replies (21) Good night (4438) Bad night (1257)
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  (661): View more from California

  i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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  (661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg
  Replies (12) Good night (2597) Bad night (899)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

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  (301): please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now http://tfl.nu/10rh
  Replies (58) Good night (1253) Bad night (13123)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10401) Bad night (1119)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that's spring break in florida for ya

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  (301): seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything... (443): that's spring break in florida for ya http://tfl.nu/f4zu
  Replies (10) Good night (2179) Bad night (2362)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue

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  (516): He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue http://tfl.nu/ydk6
  Replies (6) Good night (5574) Bad night (867)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

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  (904): hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway. http://tfl.nu/oo0k
  Replies (6) Good night (2883) Bad night (761)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (581) Bad night (3008)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."

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  (617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes." http://tfl.nu/5alc
  Replies (31) Good night (3407) Bad night (1336)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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  (207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3
  Replies (16) Good night (1835) Bad night (907)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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  (301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (375)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?

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  (813): I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight? http://tfl.nu/eoxv
  Replies (14) Good night (1437) Bad night (267)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!

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  (501): No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar! http://tfl.nu/p74j
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (259)

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