Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

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  (310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (572)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're such a slut.

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I prefer opportunist.

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  (773): You're such a slut. (318): I prefer opportunist. http://tfl.nu/49c1
  Replies (27) Good night (6641) Bad night (1072)
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  (661): View more from California

  I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.

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  (661): I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck. http://tfl.nu/we3a
  Replies (21) Good night (4000) Bad night (2113)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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  (704): CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME.. http://tfl.nu/vguq
  Replies (4) Good night (3471) Bad night (937)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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  (251): I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party http://tfl.nu/8yh5
  Replies (12) Good night (3837) Bad night (1192)
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  (949): View more from California

  He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.

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  (949): He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/d65z
  Replies (18) Good night (3089) Bad night (1126)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.

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  (407): Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/w1nq
  Replies (8) Good night (778) Bad night (1461)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight

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  (516): I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight http://tfl.nu/tjyz
  Replies (0) Good night (1080) Bad night (432)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (409)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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  (954): I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else http://tfl.nu/v2q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (272)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (362) Bad night (635)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  The band last night was really good

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.

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  (252): The band last night was really good (1-252): That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were. http://tfl.nu/08ms
  Replies (2) Good night (1013) Bad night (299)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86

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  (775): note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86 http://tfl.nu/7n4b
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go christen that room with your naked body.

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  (404): Go christen that room with your naked body. http://tfl.nu/ofzi
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (285)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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  (571): We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick http://tfl.nu/pb28
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (197)

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