lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
