do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.