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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can only hope to be on your level one day.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My glasses were in the garbage this morning

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.

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