Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.