ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
