She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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