I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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