She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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