Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
