i need an iv and a liver transplant
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.