you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
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