he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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