Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
NoShamevember. You game?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
