You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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