Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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