If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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