fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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