you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
