doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
