My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
porn star boner night. come get it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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