Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize