I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
