Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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