i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
