I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
