I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize