pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
