But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Buhtt sex?
he thought i was a dude.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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