oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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