It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
