i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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