you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
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I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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