am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
