You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
