Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
...so i touched it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
