..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize