we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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