dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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