You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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