Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
