wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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