All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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