Just cropdusted the office
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
