She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
