chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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