My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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