Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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