Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
