so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
