We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize