She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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