She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
