My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
