For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize