So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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