How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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