I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize