I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
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dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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