your parents love me but you hate me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
