I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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