I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I did not marry a roomba.
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