Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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